It’s A Glass Elevator, Not Ceiling

2344769273_7369d150de_bI think of everyone in the world, the women I most would like to kick swiftly in the hoo-ha would be those promoting this glass ceiling bullshit.

Here’s why.

I have two daughters.  I spend my waking hours and restless nights looking for ways to instill in them a sense of self-confidence so that they know they have the power, within themselves, to make their own decisions and determine their own destiny without the help of anyone else and without blaming anyone else.

On the list of “never says” is, “you can’t make it without the government forcing people to give you a chance.”

The very last thing I ever want for my girls is for them to have a pimp – be it man or government.

Maybe it’s just me.

It’s why I always give a big middle finger salute to the women propagating this lie, whether they are doing it for their own power grab or because they enjoy being a victim.  It is just that, a lie.

How do I know it’s a lie?

Because I am a woman.  And, as a woman, I’ve been given far more opportunities than my male counterparts – opportunities to be fast-tracked up the corporate ladder working for some of the largest companies in the world; and opportunities as a small business owner to take majority market share all because women like working with women.

24993800793_e08c3b82cc_bThese so called women libbers would have you believe that women rule the world and therefore we should be getting more.  The only way to do that is to have the government pass laws and initiatives to force people to give us more.

A true independent woman will tell you, women rule the world and therefore we don’t need anyone, especially government, to help us get more.  We’ll do it our own damn selves.  Like we do most everything else…except lifting really heavy things.  You can help most of us with that.

Two true personal stories that I want my girls to know:

1.)  I am an excellent employee – extremely hard working and dedicated.  At every job I’ve ever held, I have been moved up quickly because if I’m one thing, it’s a valuable employee.

Before I left the media business, the vice president of sales for the network I was working for came through our office to meet everyone.  I was one of two women in the 20+ male office.

As most women in business know, the higher you move up the ladder the less women. Not because women aren’t promoted.  It’s because women either drop out of the work force completely or they change direction.  I’ve had many girlfriends leave high-paying careers to pursue more care-focused careers like nursing.  I’ve also had girlfriends drop out completely to raise kids.  They might find more flexible jobs that allow them to spend more time with their families.  Many of the girlfriends I started with in media had no desire to move up.  Their goal was to find a husband, have kids and raise those kids.

Men do not have the same goals.

Politicians who need us to believe women make less, do not account for the above reality.

Anyhow, this new VP asked me about my career goals.  He was an older gentleman, very professional and not being creepy in that question (that is one thing we do have to deal with as women but, still, can handle it on our own).  He went on to say that New York really needed women at the head and asked if that was part of my career goal.   If so, they could start training me in that direction and, if all went well, I could be part of the executive team in New York in as little as five years.

I knew what he was saying was true, even if I wasn’t the best candidate.  One of the first networks that I worked for had a VP who was a woman and she was phenomenal.  I always felt like it gave our network an edge and broke up the old white boys club.  But she left to do something entirely different and the executive offices in NY, at the time, were really white and male.  This didn’t make for great photo ops.

While he was talking, I couldn’t help but look out the interior office window at the guys I 28230689175_2cc523dc91worked with.  This management track was their goal and they had been working hard to get there, moving from market to market and always promoting themselves up the chain.  Here I was with less experience, going through fertility treatments, knowing that the management track was not something in my sights nor had it been, but was being told I would be promoted quicker, all because I was a woman.

From this, on top of earlier experiences in my career where I had been quickly promoted working in restaurants and for local stations who needed more diversity, I learned that there is glass, but it’s not a ceiling, it’s an elevator.

An elevator because even a three-quarters focused and hard working woman will catapult over her 100% focused and hard working male counterpart.  Glass because most in the company know it’s because she’s a woman.  Sometimes, if the woman isn’t truly qualified, this can create resentment.  But, for the most part, I think it’s just become a reality for men, especially white men.  And, the truth is that diversity really does look good and it’s needed, especially for larger companies.  I think few white men would deny that, as long as the candidate is qualified.

2.)  I eventually left media and started my own business.  What I learned from being in business and in selling directly to the community is that women really do make the decisions in the household.

My business category is dominated by men.  So, as a woman in this business, I use that to my advantage.  Because women are the primary decision makers in the home, I almost always beat out men competing for the same jobs.  And, I do it while asking for a higher rate.  I am a woman.  I know what women want.  I’m the only one offering this to them.  I know that what I am offering is worth more.  I win the business.  And, I make more.

I also learned from starting a business, that there are more opportunities for women business owners.  We have niche networking groups.  There are many companies who only work with women-owned businesses.  If you are a business that targets large corporations, you have an edge over male-owned businesses because it makes them look better, too.  There are also investors who look specifically for woman-owned businesses.  We really have an advantage.  Anyone who wants to tell my daughters otherwise, better not cross me.

It is because we are strong, organized and appreciate pretty things, that we often have more to offer in business, especially in a world that is as visual as ours is today.  Add to that the women are the decision makers and we are, as women, not the weak ones who need help.  We are the strong ones who need to realize that and take advantage of it on our own merits.

I truly believe any woman bitching either doesn’t realize this reality,  is just making excuses for their own failures or looking to promote this false narrative in order to gain power.

There.  I said it.

For my daughters:  Realize your opportunities, most as a result of your God-given strengths…go get it!

 

 

photo credit: 2016OlympicTrialsDay4 (57) via photopin (license)

photo credit: WE CAN FUCKING DO IT via photopin (license)

Stop Helping the Creepers, Please

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About fifteen years ago, when I was much younger, early-twenties I would guess,  I went to the movies with a few of my girlfriends.  The theater was primarily empty except there were a few groups in front of us and a couple behind us.  We were sitting on the right side of our row which was otherwise empty

The lights dimmed, the little popcorn box danced across the screen telling us to be quiet (I don’t even think silencing your phone was a thing, then)  and the trailers at the beginning of the movie started.  I was enthralled in the screen when I noticed a man in my peripheral.  He walked in the theater, still primarily empty, all the way down to our row where he stopped, turned right and began walking all the way down our row where he eventually sat, right next to me.  Not two seats away from me.  Not one seat away from me.  Right next to me. Continue reading “Stop Helping the Creepers, Please”