Hey Lady! Your Willy is Showing


As a woman, it’s hard for me to watch groups of transgender women protesting in the streets demanding men who identify as women be able to use the bathroom of their choice while calling the very women who they say they identify with bigots for being scared of this broad entry (pun intended).

That’s something a man would do.

Watching this unfold, my question is now, “exactly which parts of being a woman do you identify with?”  Because it doesn’t seem to be the don’t make eye contact with strange men, don’t walk to your car alone and scream if a man walks into the bathroom part of a woman.

Perhaps we need to start offering classes:  Surviving as a Woman 101 – What It’s Really Like

There are, of course, advantages to being born a woman; but there are also many disadvantages.  Two specific deficits in relation to this topic:

1.)  We are, by nature, physically weaker and can be overtaken easier than a man can, or even a transgender woman can. If I’m in a bathroom and a male predator comes in, I would hope that Caitlyn Jenner is washing her hands at the sink next to me so she can kick the predator’s ass because I, most likely, wouldn’t stand a chance alone.

This is where the protests of the transgender w24517506535_6c9d09e6df_bomen and their advocates seem very selfish.  They most likely have the strength to protect themselves if confronted in a closed space, the majority of women do not. I can only guess that this is why they do not sympathize with the concerns of women who fear not being able to say anything when a man walks into their restroom or dressing room.

In this current environment, if I was approached by a man in a bathroom I would be scared to say anything because I don’t want to be called a bigot and plastered across social media.  That is a direct result of this name calling.  How many other women feel the same now?  I would argue that the debate to allow men who identify as women into women’s bathrooms could now actually create harm for the very sex they say they identify with simply because women would likely delay response.  That’s a bitch move, ladies.

The fear IS NOT the transgender person in the bathroom.  The fear is the forced suppression of natural instincts when a real threat to a woman occurs in a space where she is vulnerable.  Complaining about a man in your space now = bigot.  

2.)  The gender opposite of us tend to be perverts.  Ask any woman about her run-ins with creepy men where she felt threatened or actually was threatened.  Every woman has at least one story…a week.  It’s just something we have to live with as women.

For future reading: here’s just one of my personal assault stories along with a couple of bonus perv parables:  Stop Helping the Creepers, Please

If transgender women truly want to connect with and be accepted by those among the gender they identify with, then they have to understand and respect the challenges that women face.  Right now their public avatar’s behavior is akin to a drunken girlfriend who has just invited the frat house into the girl’s bathroom while the rest of us are trying to pee.  It feels like a violation.  You are supposed to be our sisters.

Most importantly to me, is that it not only feels like a violation against us, but also our mothers, our sisters and our daughters.  I have two daughters.  I want them to be able to scream when a man walks in their restroom or dressing room in order to protect themselves.  What do I tell them now?

I’ve known transgender people, I would never question them in the bathroom of the gender they identify with.  It takes a lot of effort to become the opposite sex.  What I’m not familiar with is this new broad definition of: “male identifying as a female.”  What the hell does that even mean? That seems like a little too much “wiggle” room.  Pervie dudes have to be sitting in their basements watching the news and saying, “hot damn!  Let me go grab mamma’s skirt.”

Let me tell you who creeps me out the most though – the everyday, always been- a-man who is fighting against the women who want to be able to complain when there is a man in their bathroom.  I’m looking at you, Bruce Springsteen.

If my husband or Dad were out standing up for men who identify as women (wink. wink) who want to use the woman’s bathroom, I  would be asking some serious questions.  I mean, we may need to make more room in the dictionary under “douche” for all the men’s pictures we need to add.

I can’t tell you how frustrating it is to walk around every day as a woman having to deal with men leering at you, saying inappropriate things, making inappropriate jokes, not knowing who you should make eye contact with because you know their nature and you don’t know who you can really trust.  Then, to come home, turn on the news and see groups of people from this same gender pool standing in the streets fighting for men to get into the women’s bathroom AND calling the women who are scared of men in their bathrooms bigots and hillbillies.  Dick heads.  Plain and simple.   Do you not have a mother? a sister?  a daughter?  a woman who will sleep with you?  You are not real men.  Real men protect women.

In my lifetime, I don’t think I’ve seen a more insensitive and closed-minded protest than this one, telling the scared people to be compassionate.  It is asinine. This is what makes truly progressive women like myself so angry with the so called “progressive party.”  They are completely out of touch.  How can the very same politicians who say they are fighting against a self-proclaimed war on women turn around and then fight for any man who thinks he’s a woman to be allowed into the women’s restroom?

I get that the bills presented make it sound like you’ll have to squat over a mirror before entering a bathroom.  I’m not saying that I agree with these bills.  In fact, I thought they were ridiculous until the other side started bullying the people who are scared, calling them hicks and bigots.  That’s not going to bring anyone to their side.  Their actions have actually made me think that we do need these protections for the majority.  Plus, I just learned that transgender people often times (when possible) change their birth certificate.  At the least they change their ID.

If I were the transgender publicity rep, I would advise that you realize that the fears of those you demean are valid.  Explain your fears.  Understand that your side is a slim, slim minority – .3%. Then, offer a reasonable solution, clearly defining these men-born people who you want to allow into the spaces where women feel most vulnerable.  This reminds me of the Occupy Wall Street movement where no one really understood what exactly they stood for because they didn’t offer solutions (Maybe eventually they did.  I don’t know.  I have the same attention span as the rest of America).

A few years back, several girlfriends and I were walking down Bourbon Street in New Orleans when a fight broke out right in front of us.  One guy broke a bottle over another guy’s head and then, what seemed like, the entire street came together to whoop ass on each other – looked nothing like West Side Story.  Not a one of ’em would snap along with me.

We were suddenly the only women in the middle of this brutal street brawl.  Out of nowhere, two drag queens came swooping in on their over-sized platforms to scoop us up and take us inside their bar where they shut two huge wooden doors behind us, “phew!  you little girls were about to be killed out there!”  We spent the next couple of hours in a dark booth taking buttery nipple shots, flipping boas over our shoulders and poking their squeeshy fake boobies (this part is totally irrelevant, but it was totally awesome).

The point is, these men who were dressed as women (not sure if they identified as women) understood the threat that we as women faced in the middle of all of that testosterone.  They chose to come in like sequin-caped super heroes and save us.

I guess I just wish we had a  transgender super hero in our midst today who would demand everyone stop, take a deep breath, quit calling people names and do what my drag friends did, fight to protect the women. All women.

photo credit: Max – Blackwell Academy via photopin (license)
photo credit: Life moves forward, folks via photopin (license)

Other Bathroom Bill Obsessed Articles:

Will the Real Bigots Please Stand Up

Personal Potty Responsibility

One thought on “Hey Lady! Your Willy is Showing

  1. I was born a male but now I’m female. Ive used the female bathroom for years without question. It was scary at first because you’re not sure how people will react but I must look pretty good because no one ever knows. I encourage transgenders to go into the bathroom of their now gender because it’s a good test for their transition.


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